And how was YOUR day yesterday?

Yesterday was not fun, though I suppose it could have been worse. I began with yet another HBO treatment bright and early at 8 a.m. Hurt less than those before, but my blood pressure was still through the roof so somewhere in my psyche I really don't like it. On the up side, my incision is healing exponentially better than it did prior to, and my skin looks great!

From there I made a quick trip home, then it was off to my doctor's office for chemo treatment #1. I was really not looking forward to this for a lot of reasons. The biggest of which was the only reference I had ... how the whole experience went 25 years ago. I won't belabor the details but suffice it to say it sucked.

My memories, ironically, are somewhat vague. I don't remember how long it took. I do remember my nurse's face, but not her name. I remember the desperate attempt to save my hair using a contraption called a "Cool Cap." The theory was that if you froze the hair follicles while the drug was going in, they would temporarily not be "fast growing" and would therefore not be impacte by the chemo. My nurse said I looked like an Ishkibibble, whatever that is. It worked, but only sort of. I think I convinced myself it was working but looking at the only picture I have of myself from that time my hair was pretty darn thin ... not sure I was fooling anyone. Nevertheless, it worked and here I am.

When they called us back (Bill, my every cheerful rock, was with me), they took us back to the "Infusion Suite." This is a room that contains probably 12 barca-loungers ... reminiscent a bit of the TV room in firestations I've seen. Each has a shiny silver IV infusion pump next to it and, when I arrived, nearly all were occupied by very old people. As I surveyed the scene I felt a lump in my throat and the telltale sign of tears sprouting. This was making it all too real. This people are all sick. I'm sick. I refuse to believe that or surrender to it.

Thankfully, as the nurse looked around for a place to put me, her eyes turned to a small room off the suite, also with a lounge chair. "Have a seat in there," she said. Oh thank goodness, I thought.

So Bill and I made ourselves comfy in our private room with our own TV and IV pump. After two sticks they got the IV in. They started with the Happy Juice - the anti-nausea drug that wasn't around 25 years ago but which is now my new best friend. Then came the Taxotere. I asked if it was related to the Taxol my mother is receiving and learned that both are derived from the Yew tree, but Taxol comes from the Pacific Yew tree, and Taxotere comes from the more hoity toity European Yew tree. Finally came the Cytoxan. They all just looked like cloudy saline. No color, thankfully. I vividly rememember the bright red Adriamycin (also known as the red death) I received the first time around.

All told it took around 4 hours, including my orientation session. Next time will be shorter. I felt fine leaving the office and felt fine for most of last night. Had yummy chicken fajitas for dinner complements of a dear friend who's here every Thursday to make sure we eat well.

This morning I'm a little punky but not too bad. I think I'll be just fine for my 1 p.m. "dive" but I wasn't up to taking Sofie to the airport this morning. Bill took her and she was an absolute champ. For those of you unaware, my oldest daughter Sofia was nominated to attend the Junior National Young Leadership Conference in Washington DC. She'll be met (and spoiled) by Bill's sisters then dropped at the conference in Bethesda tomorrow afternoon. I miss her already but she was so excited and is so ready for this experience.

Next step: hair loss. Probably within the next 10 - 14 days. I'm still wrestling emotionally with the whole thing. It's one of those that you really can't prepare for. I may opt to issue a pre-emptive strike and shave it all off before it starts coming out. Or, I may wait for the first one to fall then rush to the hairdresser. Thankfully I've got my wig waiting for me ... they can't fit it until I don't have hair. That probably deserves a whole blog to itself so I'll leave that for another time.

One down, three to go. I'm counting the days until December 4th when I'll have my final treatment. Thanks to all of you for joining my on the journey.