The Silver Lining

So with every cloud, there's a silver lining. Since my first go-round with cancer, I've never had to shave my armpits ... the hair just doesn't grow. Every woman in the world would probably say that's a silver lining, right?

As word of my current situation gets out I'm getting a flood of support from around the world ... I admit it's wonderful to be so loved but also somewhat overwhelming as it makes this whole ordeal seem so much more real.

Yesterday I received the following from a dear friend who's wife is battling a brain tumour. He's about three months ahead of us in the experience and shared the following observations ... very insightful for both me and Bill:

While I don’t know the set up in your hospital, I have found that many waiting rooms are very bland and uncomfortable. However, very often the waiting rooms for Neurosurgery and other expensive treatments are quite plush and often have free coffee, as opposed to a pay coffee machine. In my case, I found a room that had a free espresso machine. Tell Bill to give his cell number to the nurse and then make his way to the nicer waiting rooms. I also found that crackers and cookies are commonplace in the better rooms. Of course he can do the same on follow-up visits.

Cell minutes. As more people call in to check on you, your cell minutes go quickly. Again, find a good waiting room, or even a “patient consultation room” that has a phone. Normally you can make outgoing calls. I let my calls go to voice mail then called them back on the hospital dime. It’s a nice service that the hospital provides, even if they don’t know it. Both of these tips work for your surgery and follow-up treatments.

Should you need to order food while you’re there, the patient gets all the food they want for free. However, if Bill sucks up to the nurse a bit, they may end up ordering you, Bill and the girls a nice lunch. I enjoyed a really nice stuffed shell pasta with a vodka red sauce, along with a Caesar salad and Izzie drink.

You will likely have some down time. This can be difficult since you won’t be feeling well and sometimes there isn’t anyone around. So, here’s my advice:
You can rent all of the seasons of Grey’s Anatomy on disk. While it may remind you of your situation, it’s a really compelling show. Sex and the City is normally a spirit lifter, or so I’m told. I’m a guy, so I really don’t know. The Wire and Generation Kill are outstanding HBO series’, but wait until you’re feeling better for those as you will likely have had your fill of drama.

Now, as to hooters. I’m sure you’ve been considering b and c cups. But as melons go, bigger is always better. You don’t need to go for knee shooters, but the extra expense you might find with having to purchase new undergarments will be well worth the decision to go with larger Bazoombas. According to your blog, going with D cup knockers may not be something you’re thinking about. As I am a male, I am passing along for your consideration that larger gazongas can make you feel more feminine and open doors. Quite literally, if the silicone hardens up you can just push open the door at Starbucks with those puppies and not have to bother with your hands which are likely carrying your purse and your Lord and Taylor bag.

LOL. I'm thinking there's an opportunity for spouses of cancer patients to write a heckuva guide book, don't you think?

No new news as of today ... still on track for surgery 8/25. Looking forward to a quiet weekend letting all of this sink in. thanks again to all of you, especially my dear friend with the dry wit for his invaluable perspective on the state of my Bazoombas.