Inconceivable. Incomprehensible. Un-f-in believable. There's no other way to describe it. Yesterday my mom was diagnosed with cancer. Either lung cancer or a metastasis of the breast cancer she had in 2000. The irony of our family situation is beyond comprehensible. I'm more than a little pissed off at the universe at the moment. What exactly am I supposed to "learn" from this? What "good" can possibly come out of this situation?"
The image at right was created by my dear friend and graphic designer extraordinairre. She shared the irony of the use of the term un-effen-believable as she had used it the very same day as I had. Thanks Denise!
We'll know more next week. Her treatment plan will vary depending on the final diagnosis. I won't say much more here ... I'll allow mom to tell her own story, but please keep her and my dad in the circle of those positive thoughts and prayers coming our way. Those who would like to stay abreast of mom's situation can visit the page my dad set up at http://www.carepages.com/carepages/LouiseMericle/updates/1667231 (you can set up an account to receive an email when there's an update). Those of you who know my parents, and especially those in Northern California, please do whatever you can to support them during this really shitty time (no other way to say it), especially since I am unable to be there at least in the immediate term.
As for me, I'm progressing toward my surgery date of 8/25. I went in for an ultrasound biopsy of the right breast on Thursday. The good news (I think) is that they couldn't see anything on ultrasound. They want to be sure whether there is cancer on that side so on Tuesday I'll have an MRI-guided biopsy. For those who've been in an MRI machine, I have NO idea how they're going to do that ... stay tuned. I lie in the machine face down with my boobs hanging down in two little spaces. The treatment plan will be the same either way, but if there is something on the right side they'll take a sentinel node from that side during the surgery. Even if they can't get it with the MRI I'd prefer they just take the node (means one more incision ... ) so we can know for sure. I'm being as aggressive as I possibly can with this thing.
I called the surgeon this week to find out how long I should plan on being out of work. "A month," she said. I laughed out loud. Really. "A month? I was thinking a week..." Her turn to laugh. "Well if you do that you'll be the first one."
A month. Wow. While every ounce of me wants to be back in the saddle right away, I've surrendered to the doctor's guidance and am planning to be off for a full month, returning part-time after that (dependent on the long-term plan, chemo or not, etc.). I can always return earlier if I feel like it. At the urging of many loved ones I've also instructed my company to turn off my email so I absolutely cannot access it ... at least for two weeks. That will be a first in ten years, but I know that any energy I do have needs to go to myself, my kids, and my parents.
Today we're having a professional family portrait done on the beach in Carlsbad. I've been wanting to do this for years but we just haven't gotten around to it. My diagnosis was the kick in the pants because I want a picture of the way we are, and the way I am, with boobs and hair intact. I know there will be many more pictures in the future but I also know in my heart that I, and we, will be forever changed.
Thought for the day:
"It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi
Savor.
We'll know more next week. Her treatment plan will vary depending on the final diagnosis. I won't say much more here ... I'll allow mom to tell her own story, but please keep her and my dad in the circle of those positive thoughts and prayers coming our way. Those who would like to stay abreast of mom's situation can visit the page my dad set up at http://www.carepages.com/carepages/LouiseMericle/updates/1667231 (you can set up an account to receive an email when there's an update). Those of you who know my parents, and especially those in Northern California, please do whatever you can to support them during this really shitty time (no other way to say it), especially since I am unable to be there at least in the immediate term.
As for me, I'm progressing toward my surgery date of 8/25. I went in for an ultrasound biopsy of the right breast on Thursday. The good news (I think) is that they couldn't see anything on ultrasound. They want to be sure whether there is cancer on that side so on Tuesday I'll have an MRI-guided biopsy. For those who've been in an MRI machine, I have NO idea how they're going to do that ... stay tuned. I lie in the machine face down with my boobs hanging down in two little spaces. The treatment plan will be the same either way, but if there is something on the right side they'll take a sentinel node from that side during the surgery. Even if they can't get it with the MRI I'd prefer they just take the node (means one more incision ... ) so we can know for sure. I'm being as aggressive as I possibly can with this thing.
I called the surgeon this week to find out how long I should plan on being out of work. "A month," she said. I laughed out loud. Really. "A month? I was thinking a week..." Her turn to laugh. "Well if you do that you'll be the first one."
A month. Wow. While every ounce of me wants to be back in the saddle right away, I've surrendered to the doctor's guidance and am planning to be off for a full month, returning part-time after that (dependent on the long-term plan, chemo or not, etc.). I can always return earlier if I feel like it. At the urging of many loved ones I've also instructed my company to turn off my email so I absolutely cannot access it ... at least for two weeks. That will be a first in ten years, but I know that any energy I do have needs to go to myself, my kids, and my parents.
Today we're having a professional family portrait done on the beach in Carlsbad. I've been wanting to do this for years but we just haven't gotten around to it. My diagnosis was the kick in the pants because I want a picture of the way we are, and the way I am, with boobs and hair intact. I know there will be many more pictures in the future but I also know in my heart that I, and we, will be forever changed.
Thought for the day:
"It is health that is real wealth and not pieces of gold and silver.”
~ Mahatma Gandhi
Savor.
2 comments:
Hi Page, We are saying special prayers for you and your Mom. Life sure seems to be unfair sometimes. Sorry you have to go thry this again. You and you Mom will get past this, too. We will keep the prayers and special thoughts coming your way. God bless you all.
Jean and Rusty Swaney
Hey You! A quote from a very powerful women that echoes the truth:
"I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much." --Mother Teresa
My prayers are with you, your mom, and your family.
Love,
Denise
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