The Benefits of Being Pushy

So I took a break from the blogosophere for the long weekend. I think I needed to just "be" with my family and friends and process the realities of my mom's situation. All emerged more clearly this morning so I'm back in the blog-saddle again.

Went to see both my general surgeon and plastic surgeon today. The general surgeon came in and said "I have good news, and I have news." What the !@#$% is that supposed to mean?

"The good news is that your disease is Stage I disease and the margins are clear. " I had expected that I would be officially dubbed "Stage 1" so this was comforting, but I was waiting for the other shoe to drop ... Damn that Damocles.

"The news is as follows. The sentinel node on your left side, where we knew you had cancer, shows microscopic presence of tumour cells. The right side, where we thought you had NO cancer, shows both ductal carcinoma in situ and lobular carcinoma in situ throughout the breast. No tumours, but evidence of disease all over the place."

OK, recall that when I was initially diagnosed my oncologist tried to talk me out of even doing the double mastectomy. Oy.

"Plus, the lymph node on the right side shows microscopic presence of tumour cells too."

Are you kidding me? Recall that after they roto-rootered my right breast it was concluded that I had no cancer on the right side. I had to persuade my doctor to go along with the lymph node biopsy on that side, especially because once you've done the mastectomy you lose the opportunity to do the sentinel lymph node biopsy. Ultimately she was very supportive of my need to be ultra-aggressive.

So, the bottom line is twofold.

1) I will definitely have chemotherapy. Bummer, yes, but had the doctor not recommended it I might have talked him into giving it to me anyway! I want to be as aggressive as I possibly can and I learned the first time 'round that it only takes a rebel cell to cause recurrence. Chemo is a body-wide treatment and it's much harder for those little rascals to hide. I'll see the oncologist next Tuesday to get the whole scoop. I also hope to go wig-shopping with my mom some time in the next few weeks. How crazy is that? Both of us starting chemotherapy within a week of each other. She starts hers on Thursday. Read more about that at www.carepages.com and search for Louise Mericle.

2) No one knows your body like you do. You MUST trust your instincts and question your doctors. You need to trust your doctors too, yes. But question them always. I didn't know if I had cancer on the right side, but I sure as heck knew I wanted to find out and know FOR SURE what I was dealing with. If I hadn't pushed for the treatment plan I got, I would have likely gone through the motions, possibly had chemo and taken care of the disease on the left side, but not addressed the festering disease on the right side. I would likely have been back in the same place in five years and perhaps in a far more dire circumstance. Yikes.

So, armed with that news we headed north to the schwanky plastic surgeon's office in Del Mar. He's very pleased with how I'm healing and thankfully took all of the bondages (I mean bandages) off so I'm MUCH more comfortable. Given the chemotherapy scenario, he'll likely wait until I'm done before beginning the expansion process. Looks like I'm in for 6 cycles of chemo, one every three weeks, which puts me right around Christmas time. So, I'm hopeful that I'll be all put back together again and bikini-ready by next summer. Stinks that it takes that long ... but certainly beats the alternative.

So, now I need to address how to get on with the business of living in the midst of all of this. There are children to raise, husbands to care for, parents to support, jobs to do, all that jazz. In the meantime, I'll be donning all kinds of things to convince each and every one of you that I'm a fully intact 43-year old woman. You'll have the advantage of knowing the truth, but please play along for those not as informed ... :-)

So stay tuned ... same blog place ... same blog channel.